Must My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Cease Using People for Material?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?